Ooh I know Charlie. I am a very lovely recorderer player.

I don't know if I personally would want my own offspring exposed to a showcasing of deliberate bad grammar and the general language freestyling/massacre that Lola Sunna, one half of the Cbeebies' double act "Charlie & Lola" programme, constantly engages in. But then, I don't buy Charlie and Lola DVDs with a view to keeping any potential future sprogs entertained. I buy them for me because quite frankly, Charlie & Lola is toddler-viewing for adults, and should be on at 8 or 9 pm at night, rather than 3 in the afternoon, if you ask me. I have a lot of time for children's television, if a good one comes along, which happens less and less frequently. I think it was a kind of morbid fascination which had me entranced by each episode of teletubbies, many years ago now, and Angelmouse I appreciated essentially for the screaming hilarity value, Spider for its musical compositions genius. I find some of the stuff the BBC imports these days to be nothing short of profoundly alarming, the kind of moralising, patronising nonsense generally out of America or Iceland - in the case of the extremely sinister Lazytown.

Paradoxically, I think the core appeal of Charlie & Lola lies in something that can only really be appreciated by those who've outgrown it. Because what the programme conveys so well is the way its heroine exists within her own control-sphere, which operates according to her own defined world order, and revolves entirely around her. Nobody corrects her, they humour her. Not only does she get away with butchering the english language, she's full of dogmatic pronouncements, assertions of absolute nonsense. Habits that a severe reality check and perhaps also a good shake will no doubt go a long way to curing.

"Charlie & Lola" celebrates that miraculous aspect of childhood that thinks it is, and by the same token simply is, infallible.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/charlieandlola/

Oh to be a UKIP member ...

If Nigel Farage is wondering where his mail went from the last strasbourg EP session, he might be interested to know that I took it outside and BURNT it. No christmas cards for Nige - not this year.

Actually, he probably wouldn't. I can't imagine Nigel bothers to check his postbox all too often, bi-annually perhaps. Which is fair enough really. I have a hard enough time getting my head around the paradox of anti-system parties, that the notion of anti-Europe MEP's is just too mindbending to even contemplate at this stage. But what a job. All they have to do all day is complain and criticise, and nobody listens to them, but of course they're not bothered because of the utter contempt in which they hold the whole processto begin with. No tricky negotiations, no constructive contributions, just systematic opposition. Endless eye-rolling - what? not another resolution, surely! Why are they still trying?!

I'm only jealous, really. And yet it must be disheartening, somewhere. I can only compare it to how I'd feel working at - say, the IMF or World Bank, an institution which I feel could only be improved if a wrecking ball was taken to its headquarters. It can't even be reformed because the foundations are just all - wrong. But Nigel appears undeterred, despite, one would imagine, holding analoguous views. One can only assume there must be something in it for him.

David Cameron's pledge to pull the tories out of the "Federalist" EPP group might be something he lives to regret. One paper claims he fails to realise that most of the Conservative MEPs "went native long ago." To me that's pushing it a bit, I think it's safe to say they've maintained a "healthy" degree of euro-skepticism and sense of their english superiority. But let's face it, Cameron, with UKIP around, especially as the contingent they are among UK members, there really is no room for europe-haters among the conservatives, they need another selling point because that one is well and truly spoken for.

http://www.nigelfaragemep.co.uk/

What have you done for the European Union today?

It's that time of year isn't it. To think of others, to be charitable and altruistic, especially towards the needy, the downtrodden.

Serge July labelled the situation from the french perspective "SOS Europe" this week, and the recent EU summit seems to be equally cause for concern. The two main issues being Turkey (or enlargement, substitute one for the other) and the Constitution. Two items which, with present circumstances such as they are, nobody really wants to talk about.

You have to admire the optimism of Spanish PM Zapatero, who has offered to host a "friends of the constitution" conference and is confident that "real progress" can be made. Heart-warming as the prospect is, you have to wonder what planet he's really on.

There does seem to be a curious paradox occuring, as the boundaries of the EU race eastwards at a rate of knots while internal indifference & institutional unease seem to be the causes of the state of stagnation on the inside, it's almost as if the former is happening primarily to detract attention from the latter.

That strategy can only work for so long. And now the "stalemate" seems to apply to both the constitution and the question on future member states. Enlargement fatigue does seem to be well & truly here, though Barroso still seems ready & raring to go, for another round, the sentiment doesn't appear widepsread.

At this stage, nobody seems to want to step up and take the initiative to get the ball rolling on these much talked about euro-reforms, whatever shape they may take, in terms of revising decisional procedures and whatnot. Despite all the talk, even Germany & France (dubbed the "moteurs de l'Europe" by July) seem uninspired, and with all but one of the French presidential candidates marked by "euro-indifference", arguably worse than euro-scepticism, the outlook appears dim.

In the meantime, the ceaseless back & forth on the Constitution trundles along, no-one is getting fired up about Turkey anymore, there seems to be a general, if temporary, hand-washing of both projects. Even the sceptics seem to have settled down, at least for the time being, to a mode of passive discontent on the borders & immigration question.

It's almost unfortunate that there is no "crisis", if only for the sake of its mobilising power. There is only grumbling, shrugging of shoulders, and ultimately - turning of backs.

Had anyone else forgotten Pinochet was alive?

I don't mean to hammer the BBC, really I don't, but is there such widespread consensus in politics & current affairs these days that we need to resort to asking questions such as "General Pinochet - Rot in hell you unparalleled monstrocity or Rest in peace, revered statesman (& saviour of Chile from the Marxist conspiracy)?" in order to spark a debate.

It seems that even those who'd normally cheerfully argue all 4 of any given donkey's legs off, are too tired to argue this one. I find it particularly difficult to stomach phrases like "Time will heal the wounds/the country needs time to heal itself" - no it won't, all this actually refers to is the generation for whom the atrocities are palpable, & in living memory, dying out & being replaced by a successive one for whom they are at a comfotable distance of a good few degrees of separation, and even then, even then...

For anyone who might find browsing through the full spectrum & thorough range of reactions worthwhile, and my word - how thorough it is:
Pinochet Comments

So here's how it panned out.

First, french/cypriot rapper/MC Diam's launches a virulent indictment of France's Nationalist party - Front National, in the form of a mournful anthem and call to arms, which primarily targets, or rather adresses, Marine Le Pen, French MEP and daughter of the party Leader Jean Marie. Watch.

Next, Marine retaliates with an appearance on french topical television programme Tout le Monde en Parle, claiming to have written a personal note to Diam's effectively iniviting her out to coffee and/or to engage in a debate about immigration. So explicitly personal & high profile was the attack, & in the aftermath of the songs success, a response of some kind was to be anticipated, however, perhaps Marine is cleverer than we might give her credit for. Watch.

Let's be clear about the format here, Diam's hardly issued a point-by-point condemnation of the FN's immigration policies. There is nothing objective about this. You don't need to have graduated from the ENA in order to realise, that this is not constructive criticism. Furthermore - "F**k the national front" is one thing, professing one's hatred of a certain individual, night after night, in town after town, is nothing short of a provocation. Especially given that, as anyone familiar with the text itself might attest, it hardly constitutes what one might call diplomatic, balanced rhetoric.

For these reasons, and especially in light of the fact that Marine's name was used in such a prominent way, her decision to react publicly was legitimate. And the way she did it, could - a priori - be construed as ballsy, incisive even - insidious, exposing the artist as all talk and no substance.

But it's very doubtful of course, whether Diam's' aim in creating & releaisng the song was with a view to initiating a debate on immigration with Marine herself.

After all we know how diams feels about the issue - she's a young radical "metisse", just as we know how Marine feels about it, she's an FN spokesperson and Jean Marie's daughter for crying out loud, no well-natured debate over coffee or on live television is going to alter that, they are conditioned to disagree with one another, to lie at opposite ends of the spectrum, which is probably precisely why Diam's chose to direct her grievances in Marine's direction, rather than that of say, Segolene Royal, whom she may not see entirely eye to eye with, but still shares a great deal more common ground than a nationalist nutcase who's been brainwashed by her forbears (did I hear someone mention "Pret-a-penser"...?).

This lament was not a personal attack against Marine at all. Marine is irrelevant, she is entirely beside the point (along with her replique, no less). The phrase "we'll never be friends because my mother's french but I wasn't born here" - is not made to be taken literally. Rather, she serves as a symbol, a target, and a vehicle for a message and an appeal, as opposed to anger & slogans directed at a faceless organisation - and as such, one supposed, is designed to render it more poignant, more human. If Marine hasn't worked that out, I think any earlier attributed credit ought to be swiftly & summarily revoked.

For anyone wishing to familiarise themselves with some of Marine's policy stances: http://www.pourquivoter.com

IS IT the tune of the year? Jo Whiley seems to think so. First and only gig I've seen in strasbourg, and caught them during the summer at werchter festival, some may claim the Kooks ship has sailed, but this still rings true for me. I still do prefer the now rather widespread Lily Allen version, but I suppose the original is passable. So here it is then:

How many days has it been now, that the "Suffolk Ripper" has been on all the front pages?

Bar the FT, obviously.

I noticed the BBC thoughtfully removed the story, at least for a few hours, from the website homepage, perhaps in a bid not to be irresponsible, in light of comments made by police that the publicity frenzy may be spurring the offender on.

Of course, there's no reason to suspect the police aren't right on the money, they've certainly been taking good council. Take for example, the remarks of a Dr Ian Stephen, "Consultant forensic psychologist who has worked on previous serial killer cases and advised the makers of the TV drama Cracker" - if that wasn't a CV to silence anyone.

"My worry is that his perception of women will change and he will see any woman who's out on the street at night on their own as a prostitute."

In sum, it's alright to go on a killing sprees, as long as he can competently draw the distinction between lowlife whores, and the rest.

"He maybe had a mother who has let him down, or a mother who has abandoned him," he added. "In some sense he may have idolised women and then they let him down."
But he also said the killer might believe he is on "some kind of Christian mission... clearing the world of prostitutes".

Gosh, how credible does that sound?

Interestingly, the "If this story upsets you, click here" link, which appears embedded in this story on the CBBC Newsround page (not a resource I consult quite as frequently, reassure yourselves) does not feature in the reports of the daily murder & carnage in Iraq. Perhaps because of the distance, but then again, terrorism is hardly localised nowadays. Here's some advice for the beeb - perhaps if you were to mention on the Newsround page that all the women who've been pulled out of ditches so far have been prostitutes, children might be less anxious and prone to having nightmares as a result of reading the story. That's of course, as long as our Ripper pursues the trend. No doubt Dr Ian is keeping his fingers crossed.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/suffolk/6171571.stm