How will you spend yours?

Normally I don't condone making fun of the EU, it's too easy a target, although I will share with you part of an article by Roger Boyes suggesting ways to celebrate the EU's 50th birthday on the 25th of March, just in case you were at a bit of a loss for ideas...

Organise a street party The families at number 25 and 27 will insist that it was all their idea and you have diluted the fun by inviting the whole street. Don’t forget to ask the Turkish family at No 72, then change your mind and ask for the invitation back. You can’t stop the Romanians from the council houses at the end of the road coming, though. Set a date for the party, then argue about the buffet until midnight the day before. Call it a success, whatever happens

Birthday song Gather the neighbours to sing Ode to Joy. In 40 languages. Simultaneously

Family fun Consult everybody about the sort of celebrations they want. If they don’t want your own favourites ask again until they wearily agree with you

Put out more flags Festoon the lampposts with flags of all EU nations. Under Flag Display Parity of Esteem regulation 24, section vi, paragraph 6a, all the flags must be regulation size. Only the Union Jack will adhere to this, however. None of the neighbours will take any notice of the rule. Take down the Union Jack after the Health and Safety regulation 6,124 deems it a hazard to birds. The other flags continue flying

The birthday cake Cut the cake into 27 pieces. Argue about who put what into it and who should get which slice until it goes stale. Eat it anyway. Complain about the extra bit the Jones’s took and ask who ate all the raisins

Celebrate peace Make a speech pointing out that no-one in the street has attacked a neighbour for 50 years. Try not to look at the nice couple who work at the Deutsche Bank as you say it

I think I'll be going for the third option.